65th Transformation [text | action for Shark House]

[exeggutorhead]

[There's just a short text from Envy's number today:]

Hypothetically, if you have to use a fire extinguisher on an oven, the oven would still work afterwards right?

[Any of Envy's housemates who came to investigate the mix of angry and then panicked shouting that happened shortly before that text went out will be able to find him sitting on the edge of the couch, with flecks of foam all over his front and in his hair, staring at the door to the kitchen like he'd like to murder it. There's a thick, acrid smoke spilling out of the doorway. It smells a little like oranges. But mostly just nasty burnt food.]

[Looking inside the kitchen will reveal batter covered dishes, a frying pan filled to the edges with a smoldering black thing which may have been a pancake, and a pot that's the source of most of the smoke. It's also clearly what the fire extinguisher was aimed at. No, that wasn't a hypothetical question at all.]

[Envy, in the midst of the frustration, is hoping that he's not going to have to buy Greed a new oven.]

Comments

[exeggutorhead]

Yeah, if the stove still works for the third time.

[He gestures widely.]

France always made it look easy! What's so complicated about it, it should just be putting the right amounts of everything the recipe says to in the pot and turning the heat on.

[WHY ISN'T COOKING ALCHEMY??]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[His brows peak in sympathy. He's no chef either but at least he can manage easy mac.]}

What were you trying to make in there anyway?

[exeggutorhead]

Some kind of...crepes thing, it was one of his recipes that he kept around. And I'd seen him make it before, it didn't look that hard.

[Famous last words.]

But I put the liqueur in the pot and it caught on fire. And I think if I'd tried to flip the crepe over it would have just dumped batter everywhere.

[8( cooking is harder than he thought. He'd hoped that Lust's Soup had been a fluke.]

[no_ufo_ending]

Crepes!

_{[Henry sits up a little taller.]}

Well no wonder...I think...I think maybe you should start small.

With a grilled cheese.

[exeggutorhead]

Oh...do you know how to make that?

I didn't see it in any of France's recipes.

[WHERE HE'S GETTING THE RECIPES IS HALF THE PROBLEM. They're all complicated and French and the handwriting is hard to read.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[The shaggy man nods.]}

Probably because it isn't exactly, ah...French. C'mon. Let's see what's left of the kitchen.

_{[He makes his way in, creeping slowly just in case any deadly fumes remained.]}

All we need is butter, cheese, and bread.

[exeggutorhead]

Well, I know we have all of that.

[Fortunately, while the kitchen is still smoky and smells terrible, it's not toxic. Envy holds a hand over his face to block out some of the smell, grimacing as he looks at the mess on the stovetop.]

Maybe we could just wash it off?

[no_ufo_ending]

You can wash it off.

_{[Henry actually took on a slightly scolding tone as he started to prepare the ingredients.]}

[exeggutorhead]

[Well, it had been worth a shot. Envy raises an eyebrow at Henry actually scolding, if only because it wasn't expected, but then he sighs and pulls out the roll of paper towels. Better get started.]

[He just dumps out the pot and pan in the trash and plunks them in the sink...but that leaves all the rest of the foam on the stove.]

...should I use water on this?

[no_ufo_ending]

And soap. I'm just glad it's electric or we would be in real trouble.

[exeggutorhead]

Ugh, yeah, I don't want to even think about if it had been one of those gas ones with the actual fire.

[OKAY, STARTING TO CLEAN THIS MESS UP.]

The house might have actually burned down.

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Once the stove is foodsafe again, Henry actually forms a little grin and starts to pretend that he's on a fancy cooking show.]}

Okay. Watch me, grasshopper.

_{[And with the perfect practiced muscle memory only a seasoned stoner could master, Henry butters the bread, heats the pan, slaps it down, and applies the cheese.]}

The tricky part is waiting until the bottom is perfect.

_{[He's not even looking at it. He doesn't need to.]}

[exeggutorhead]

[Okay, THIS actually looks pretty easy. As Envy watches, Henry's tiny grin is contagious and he starts to get one too.]

Oh, yeah? So how do you tell when it is?

[no_ufo_ending]

Here...

_{[Henry slips the spatula under the very corner and lifts it up.]}

You need to be careful not to push it too much or you could flip it out of the pan.

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy nods, taking a look underneath the sandwich when Henry checks.]

Right. And what about the other side?

[no_ufo_ending]

<sub>[For a beat, Henry does't say anything. And then, without warning, he flips the sandwich with the skill of a table performing chef. The grilled cheese lands back in the pan with a PLOP.]

[Is that a smirk? It sure is.]</sub>