65th Transformation [text | action for Shark House]

[exeggutorhead]

[There's just a short text from Envy's number today:]

Hypothetically, if you have to use a fire extinguisher on an oven, the oven would still work afterwards right?

[Any of Envy's housemates who came to investigate the mix of angry and then panicked shouting that happened shortly before that text went out will be able to find him sitting on the edge of the couch, with flecks of foam all over his front and in his hair, staring at the door to the kitchen like he'd like to murder it. There's a thick, acrid smoke spilling out of the doorway. It smells a little like oranges. But mostly just nasty burnt food.]

[Looking inside the kitchen will reveal batter covered dishes, a frying pan filled to the edges with a smoldering black thing which may have been a pancake, and a pot that's the source of most of the smoke. It's also clearly what the fire extinguisher was aimed at. No, that wasn't a hypothetical question at all.]

[Envy, in the midst of the frustration, is hoping that he's not going to have to buy Greed a new oven.]

Comments

[armoredsoul]

If you set the house on fire I am flying back there to punch you in the face.

...and the fire extinguisher itself shouldn't harm the oven.

[Whatever set the fire going, on the other hand...]

[exeggutorhead]

I didn't set the house on fire!

why the hell would I be asking about ovens if the actual house was on fire

[GOD, ALPHONSE.]

and it was just hypothetical anyway

[fatalissimo]

Nah, you're probably pretty fucked.

Hypothetically.

[Thanks, Nonon.]

Action!

[a_sin_for_him]

[Lust heard noises from the kitchen long before she smelled anything burning. Even the smoky smell only garners a raised eyebrow and a glance over her shoulder at first. She's busy, with both television on for background noise and one of her Pokemon biology books open on her lap.]

[But with the culmination of the sound of some hissing thing, the scents, and the 'hypothetical' text from Envy, Lust is on her feet and flinging open the kitchen door.]

What in god's good name is going on in here?

[ossifragant]

Should I be worried about the state of my house?

[exeggutorhead]

no your house is fine

really

you won't even notice when you get back

[exeggutorhead]

Well, shit.

Hypothetically.

but really that's not very helpful at all

[As thought Envy has ever been helpful towards people's questions on the network once in all the years he's been here.]

[ossifragant]

[HE'S JUST MAKING SURE.]

Just... be careful.

[At... least this is Greed; he's too laid back to be anxious about needing to repair or replace his oven.]

[action]

[no_ufo_ending]

<sub>[Henry is just sitting in the living room. He's been here the whole time and the man has heard things. He's also sitting as close to the wall as the sofa allows and is trying to make himself look very very small because he's regretting his volunteering to eat whatever Envy managed to make.]

[Just because you can't die in Johto doesn't mean you can't be put in a state where you wished you could.]</sub>

[exeggutorhead]

good thing I'm always careful.

how's your trip going, anyway?

[SUBJECT CHANGE.]

[ossifragant]

[Subject change successful!]

Pretty good, actually.

I'm having a great time out here, though I'm getting a bit homesick.

[fatalissimo]

Totally helpful, actually. You did want to know if it'd be fucked or not, didn't you? It's hardly my fault that you didn't get the answer you wanted.

[exeggutorhead]

You're in Olivine, aren't you? Maybe we should all go out there and go to the beach again.

[Because that had been really fun last time, and they all know each other better now. He and Greed are on even better terms than last time. Envy resolutely doesn't think about who won't be there this time.]

[ossifragant]

[...Sounds like it might be a little depressing if they thought about it too long.]

I'd like that. It could become our yearly tradition.

[envy_the_sinners]

[Okay he'll bite.

BUT ONLY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT LUST'S HOUSE TO BURN DOWN.]

I would not think that to be your number one concern if the oven is on fire.

Action

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy's waving away what smoke is still coming from the pot, and the fire extinguisher has been clunked down by his feet. There's a frustrated scowl on his face, and his nose is wrinkled from the smell.]

A recipe that didn't work, that's what.

I started putting the ingredients in and it caught on fire.

[action]

[exeggutorhead]

[With the kitchen as not-on-fire as it's going to get, Envy flees the nasty-smelling room and sits on the arm of the couch.]

[Which is when he notices Henry huddling there, and sighs in a mix of frustration and embarrassment.]

You don't have to eat this one. It's covered in the fire extinguisher stuff.

[Even he knows that's not edible.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry heaves a huge sigh and sinks down in his seat a little. Oh, thank Arceus.]}

Well, hey...third time's a charm, right?

[exeggutorhead]

Yeah, if the stove still works for the third time.

[He gestures widely.]

France always made it look easy! What's so complicated about it, it should just be putting the right amounts of everything the recipe says to in the pot and turning the heat on.

[WHY ISN'T COOKING ALCHEMY??]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[His brows peak in sympathy. He's no chef either but at least he can manage easy mac.]}

What were you trying to make in there anyway?

[exeggutorhead]

Some kind of...crepes thing, it was one of his recipes that he kept around. And I'd seen him make it before, it didn't look that hard.

[Famous last words.]

But I put the liqueur in the pot and it caught on fire. And I think if I'd tried to flip the crepe over it would have just dumped batter everywhere.

[8( cooking is harder than he thought. He'd hoped that Lust's Soup had been a fluke.]

[no_ufo_ending]

Crepes!

_{[Henry sits up a little taller.]}

Well no wonder...I think...I think maybe you should start small.

With a grilled cheese.

[text]

[awesmazings]

[....uuuuuh.]

Envy? Is everything okay?

[exeggutorhead]

[WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK HE'S BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN?!]

It isn't on fire anymore we have an extinguisher

[text]

[exeggutorhead]

everything's fine!

cooking is just harder than I thought it would be that's all