Envy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
exeggutorhead) wrote2010-11-05 05:29 pm
exeggutorhead) wrote2010-11-05 05:29 pm
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"Hey, this is Envy. I'm busy or not around, so say whatever you want here and I might get back to you about it."
"Hey, this is Envy. I'm busy or not around, so say whatever you want here and I might get back to you about it."
[Action-- between Ecruteak and Mahogany]
[Too bad it doesn't FEEL like fall.]
UUUUUUUHHHHHHHNGHHHHHHHHHH.
[A SPLOOSH from somewhere by the shore of the island signals that Heather has Had It with the muggy heat and is now wading in the slow river.]
I feel like a MILDEWY KITCHEN SPONGE.
[Another splash, this one deeper-sounding. She has submerged.]
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If the river makes you smell like one, you can't come in the tent!
[But he does wander over to the shore from where he'd been setting up camp. Oh. Hm. She's vanished.]
[He immediately starts glancing around to see if there's any kind of prank to be pulled while she's underwater. Shoes on the shore?]
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[... Admittedly, she had been wearing a swimsuit underneath because she had a feeling today was just gonna be one of those days, but there are a lot of exciting places on the island that he could put those pants. Like up a tree. Or on a wild Pokemon.]
[A saturated mop of blond hair does emerge from the water a second or two-- she's not too far away from shore, has never been too fond of deep water. But she's far enough away that he could probably get away with a fair bit before she can come splashing back onto solid ground.]
If I can't come in the tent, I'm going to stay out here and become aquatic like dolphins did.
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[Oh, he saw them all right. It's way too perfect. Without looking at them any more, he saunters closer to the waterline and the pants, as though he's considering hopping in after all.]
I can't believe I'd have to call myself boyfriend to a dolphin.....it would be so sad....
AAAH! FUCK!
[Acting his black little heart out, he points at the sky behind her. Which, you know, considering the state of things in this world it could really be something. But whether or not she falls for it, he's grabbed the pants and turned to sprint away to the woods, kicking up sand behind him.]
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[Envy is such a legitimately good actor that even Heather, who knows EXACTLY what he's like, whips her head up and around to see what he's pointing at. Which REALLY COULD FOR ALL SHE KNOWS be a swarm of Beedrill or like... an enraged Fearow or something.]
[But when she sees absolutely nothing, it only takes her a minute to figure out what happened.]
[And what he's up to.]
--ENVY I swear to GOD--
[Clumsily, she stands and starts to wade back to shore... but while she's one fast devil on solid ground, she's not exactly a speed demon in the water.]
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[He may not have his old speed, but even on his short legs he can really go fast.]
[Especially when he's got good reason to.]
[And fast he goes, straight up a tree like a goddamn baby bear.]
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[And she watches his tiny midget ass scoot directly up a tree trunk and lets out a roar, leaping over a small gulley in her pursuit.]
I'M GONNA COME RIGHT UP THAT TREE AFTER YOU!
[... Which is not going to be fun, because she's wearing a bikini bottom and zero shoes, and tree bark + bare skin are not amigos. But she'll do it anyway!]
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[Admittedly he had thought that the lack of pants or shoes would make her not want to come up after him. But you know what?]
[It's too late to rethink this plan. He finds a spot to stand on a branch and waves the pants in the air before tying them around his neck like a cape. And then he keeps climbing because what else is he gonna do?]
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[As she reaches the foot of the trunk and takes one look at the gnarled bark before her, she realizes the problem at hand. But it's too late. She said she was gonna. So she's gonna.]
[Determinedly, she grabs the lower branches and starts to climb, grimacing as she does.]
[If Envy were wearing someone else's pants like a cape, she would be laughing, but this is war.]
I'm gonna get up there.
I'm gonna dangle you off a branch by your pants.
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[Everything that isn't finding the next branch to grab is a problem for Future Envy. Including the fact that before too long, even he's gonna have to start choosing his route more carefully.]
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I will-- [A grunt of exertion as she hauls herself onto the next branch]-- I will dangle you like a worm on a hook. But the hook is your pants.
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YOU are the one who was going to be a fish, so you can't-- [He has to pause to haul himself up higher. It's starting to get a little harder to focus on witty banter.]
Uh, fish can't dangle hooks!
[But that isn't going to stop him from sassing with utter confidence, even if it goes off the rails halfway through.]
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[She has to climb somewhat tenderly to avoid covering herself in scrapes, but what she lacks in speed she's making up for in sheer relentlessness.]
I WAS going to be a fish, but now I'm being a fuckin' orangutan.
An orangutan who's gonna get you.
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[And starts peering around, wondering if maybe, just maybe, there's another tree close by that he could make a jump for......]
Oh yeah, well...if you're an orangutan, I'm a spider monkey!
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[... Shit, wait-- that's not true, is it? What were the apes that would eat other apes? Was it chimps?]
[Whatever. Envy probably doesn't know anyway! He was from like, the early 1900's!]
[She's gaining some ground-- er, trunk-- on him now that he's reached as far as he can go. The other trees are too far away to jump to without just. Falling.]