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[exeggutorhead]

"Hey, this is Envy. I'm busy or not around, so say whatever you want here and I might get back to you about it."

Comments

[exeggutorhead]

God can't help you NOW! HAHAHA!

[He may not have his old speed, but even on his short legs he can really go fast.]

[Especially when he's got good reason to.]

[And fast he goes, straight up a tree like a goddamn baby bear.]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[Once she's actually out of the water, she picks up speed-- but he's already got a head start.]

[And she watches his tiny midget ass scoot directly up a tree trunk and lets out a roar, leaping over a small gulley in her pursuit.]</sub>

I'M GONNA COME RIGHT UP THAT TREE AFTER YOU!

_{[... Which is not going to be fun, because she's wearing a bikini bottom and zero shoes, and tree bark + bare skin are not amigos. But she'll do it anyway!]}

[exeggutorhead]

I'M THE TREE KING! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!

[Admittedly he had thought that the lack of pants or shoes would make her not want to come up after him. But you know what?]

[It's too late to rethink this plan. He finds a spot to stand on a branch and waves the pants in the air before tying them around his neck like a cape. And then he keeps climbing because what else is he gonna do?]

[foolishwren]

OH CAN'T I?!

<sub>[As she reaches the foot of the trunk and takes one look at the gnarled bark before her, she realizes the problem at hand. But it's too late. She said she was gonna. So she's gonna.]

[Determinedly, she grabs the lower branches and starts to climb, grimacing as she does.]

[If Envy were wearing someone else's pants like a cape, she would be laughing, but this is war.]</sub>

I'm gonna get up there.

I'm gonna dangle you off a branch by your pants.

[exeggutorhead]

No you won't!

[Everything that isn't finding the next branch to grab is a problem for Future Envy. Including the fact that before too long, even he's gonna have to start choosing his route more carefully.]

[foolishwren]

I will.

I will-- _{[A grunt of exertion as she hauls herself onto the next branch]}-- I will dangle you like a worm on a hook. But the hook is your pants.

[exeggutorhead]

Uh, excuse me!

YOU are the one who was going to be a fish, so you can't-- [He has to pause to haul himself up higher. It's starting to get a little harder to focus on witty banter.]

Uh, fish can't dangle hooks!

[But that isn't going to stop him from sassing with utter confidence, even if it goes off the rails halfway through.]

[foolishwren]

Key word: WAS!

_{[She has to climb somewhat tenderly to avoid covering herself in scrapes, but what she lacks in speed she's making up for in sheer relentlessness.]}

I WAS going to be a fish, but now I'm being a fuckin' orangutan.

An orangutan who's gonna get you.

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy doesn't respond right away this time, because he's busy choosing between the increasingly sparse "safe" limbs. They're starting to get more thin and bendy than something that can be used to climb. He stops climbing, finally, catching his breath.]

[And starts peering around, wondering if maybe, just maybe, there's another tree close by that he could make a jump for......]

Oh yeah, well...if you're an orangutan, I'm a spider monkey!

[foolishwren]

Orangutans eat spider monkeys!

<sub>[... Shit, wait-- that's not true, is it? What were the apes that would eat other apes? Was it chimps?]

[Whatever. Envy probably doesn't know anyway! He was from like, the early 1900's!]

[She's gaining some ground-- er, trunk-- on him now that he's reached as far as he can go. The other trees are too far away to jump to without just. Falling.]</sub>