56th Transformation [FOURTH WALL]

[exeggutorhead]

[A: Cycling Road]

[Envy hasn't been having a bad time of it, all things considered. He's been teleporting around, but honestly he's almost used to that by now, and he's got his powers back! That's always a plus. Usually when incredibly inconvenient shit happens, it's right off the bat. Right?]

[Not right. Not right at all. It's late afternoon, around the fourth or fifth time Envy's winked out of existence and appeared somewhere else. This time, he doesn't recognize where he is. He's on some kind of wide, flat, steep as hell road surrounded by ocean. And he gets exactly five seconds to look around before he hears the sound of his oncoming doom. Doom sounds a whole lot like a whole lot of wheels on pavement. Apparently, today sounded like a good day for half the cyclists in existence to have a marathon race down Cycling Road.]

[If Envy didn't have his superpowers, he would have had a not fun time getting run over. But since he does have them, he's able to leap twenty feet in the air like the world's most startled cat, and thank goodness there's a big metal support arch there for him to grab onto and haul himself on top of.]

[The cyclists just keep on coming, not in quite such a wave as the minutes pass, but there are still way too many for him to jump down or try to get off the main path. Yeah, he'll be staying up here for a little while. And the longer he does, the more he's deciding on how best to knock over the most bicycles in one go.]

[B: Anywhere]

[Envy can be found just about anywhere, but since this is one of the few times a year he gets to use his powers, he might not look like himself. If anyone watches him walk down the street or route for long enough, they'll probably see him glow bright white and suddenly look like a totally different person mid-stride. He's also up for some gratuitous property destruction any time for any reason at all.]

[There's also some things following him, which he's very deliberately ignoring. They look like…floating tree stumps? There's a few of them, peeking up behind trash bins and lampposts, staying mostly out of sight.]

Comments

[exeggutorhead]

[Luckily for Henry, the one back pat was it as far as the physical contact goes. And...oh this is hard to explain.]

No, I haven't. But there's...I guess you'd call it another version of my world, with another Envy in it. I'd heard he looked like that, so that was probably him.

[...although shit, other him better have not said anything awful to Henry or Envy's going to go to the sewers and stomp on him.]

What all was he saying to you?

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[The pokemon shrugs and looks up at the sky where the hole had disappeared.]}

Not a lot...but he was whining about not being cute. Mostly he just wanted out of that jar.

_{[The rest of that sunk in slowly.]}

So there's an Evil Envy out there...

_{[He wonders if there's an Evil Henry as well.]}

[exeggutorhead]

...something like that. So on these weekends, if you ever see anybody who looks like me or says he's me but doesn't know you...just be careful. And don't listen to anything he says.

[Because that covers if another him shows up from his own Amestris too. He's met duplicates before, and he wouldn't trust his past self not to try something.]

[no_ufo_ending]

Yeah...I took a shower and when I stepped out I was like this. At first I thought something was wrong with our shampoo but then Heather and I figured out it was just One of Those Days.

_{[He has to admit that he wishes he'd woken up as a dragon instead of a chia-chihuahua.]}

[exeggutorhead]

That's...well, it's new. I haven't heard of anybody turning into Pokemon before. I haven't seen any other talking Pokemon running around today either.

At least you can talk.

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry nods rapidly.]}

I was terrified that I couldn't. That I'd just be saying...I don't know. Henry Henry Henry Hen Henry over and over.

_{[Now that the danger has passed and the situation has been explained, the Leafeon sinks down and just sort of...lays on the sidewalk.]}

[exeggutorhead]

[That's...worrying.]

[Envy reaches out and nudges him, because that's helpful.]

Hey. You never said if you were okay.

[Clearly he's not okay, but is he hurt? Does Envy need to take him to the Pokemon Center? How does he deal with this situation he has no idea.]

[no_ufo_ending]

I'm okay, Envy. My brain's just screaming. It's been...It's been A Day.

[exeggutorhead]

Oh.

[But he still feels like he should do something. He's just...really not that good at being reassuring or helpful.]

[But maybe there is something he can try. After some thought, he transforms; not into another person, but into a Zoroark. It seemed like the right Pokemon to be. He nudges Henry again. More carefully, because claws.]

Hey look, now I'm a talking Pokemon too.

[no_ufo_ending]

<sub>[When the Leafeon looks up, he is surprised to find a big grinning fox face hovering over him. He pops up to his feet and stares for a moment before as mall grin crosses his muzzle.]

[Friends, man. Who knew having them was so great?]</sub>

Thanks, man...

[exeggutorhead]

[Yes it worked.]

It's no problem. C'mon, let's go for a walk and see if we can't find something interesting.

[There's always something on these days. And it's a distraction.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Ears up, Henry scans their surroundings.]}

I hear some people screaming on the other side of the block...I wonder if that flying bus I saw wound up over there.

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy looks in the same direction Henry is, ears pricking forward. Screaming people could turn out interesting!]

Well it's gotta be something. Hey, maybe if it is that, we can hitch a ride. I've never seen a flying bus.

[He gets to his feet and starts off in the direction of the screaming, deciding to stay on all fours for now; it's easier than wobbling while he figures out how to work out Pokemon nonsense physiology.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[The photographermon is more than happy to trot along behind Envy. He's bigger than him and other than one accidental Solar Beam, Henry hasn't played around with his abilities much.]}

It made me think of a show that was on television when I was a kid.

[exeggutorhead]

A show about a flying bus?

[Weird, thinks the centuries-old undead shapeshifter.]

[Henry's still got him beat as far as Pokemon moves go; just because he looks like one doesn't mean he's capable of doing the same things. All that noise and screaming, though...]

Does it attack people?

[no_ufo_ending]

Oh, no. Heh. Though I guess the teacher on that show might be arrested today for endangering children...but no, it was some educational thing.

_{[The leafeon's ears pick up as his mood starts improving.]}

The bus had a human face, though, so it's probably scaring pe--

_{[Another enormous hole lined in bloodstained runes opens up right beneath the pokemon--leading straight into the heart of Lavender Town's pokemon tower...from the past.]}

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy doesn't get the chance to comment on the human-faced educational bus before the hole opens up and the comment turns into a surprised yelp.]

[He grabs onto Henry as they fall, part because there's nothing else to grab and part because these holes are Henry's Thing and what if Envy didn't go through right somehow?]

[When they hit the ground, he stays down for a long moment before even bothering to look up. But that music is pretty unmistakeable, and his ears go all the way back.]

Henry? You okay?

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Having never been in the tower before, Henry has no idea what he's in for. The little Leafeon sits up and starts to say something but instead claps his paws over his head.]}

Aahh- ooww ow oww.

_{[Ghost central = headache central.]}

[exeggutorhead]

Henry?

[SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG]

Did you hit your head?

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry shakes his head and moans. He hasn't had a headachet his bad since Boo hatched.]}

Wherever we are...is haunted like nobody's business.

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy had been hoping there wouldn't be ghosts, even if they're clearly somewhere in Lavender Town.]

[...Then again, the fact that the whole place is full of spooky fog and what look like gravestones made that sort of a stupid hope. Envy bristles at their surroundings. Maybe the ghosts will think he's a real dark type and leave them alone.]

Then we should get the hell out of here.

[Although it sounds like there's some sort of...sad sniffling? Over behind one of the graves.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry nods rapidly and just...invites himself to climb Envy's massive poof of a mane. Envy was taller and could probably run faster since he didn't have a headache.]}

Goooo, go go go go.

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy doesn't mind being climbed on, because yeah it probably will be faster. And this way they won't get separated.]

[He also doesn't need to be told to get moving twice.]

Going!

[As he runs past that sniffling sound, though, two things happen. One, a Haunter appears out of thin air beside them and pulls as terrifying a face as it can. And two, a tiny, wailing Cubone launches itself out of its hiding spot and latches onto the end of Envy's mane.]

Aaaa!

[SCRAMBLERUNNING FASTER.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry digs his paws deep into Envy's mane and hollers unmajestically as the haunter and its horrorface appear. When the Cubone hijacks his ride, the Leafeon yells again and swats at the poor unhappy creature out of reflex like that one cat gif.]}

Envy, everything is terrible!

[exeggutorhead]

[Sorry Henry, that Cubone is not going to let go just because of being swatted. These two are the only things up here that aren't ghosts or creepy possessed shrine maidens. And it has a grip like a vice.]

[It sure will keep wailing and carrying on, though. And alert just about every Gastly around that there's some fun to be had here. Envy's sprinting across the creaky wood floors and scrambling over gravestones as fast as he can, but there's ghosts everywhere.]

I can't find the stairs! Make it shut up! Or let go, or something!