56th Transformation [FOURTH WALL]

[exeggutorhead]

[A: Cycling Road]

[Envy hasn't been having a bad time of it, all things considered. He's been teleporting around, but honestly he's almost used to that by now, and he's got his powers back! That's always a plus. Usually when incredibly inconvenient shit happens, it's right off the bat. Right?]

[Not right. Not right at all. It's late afternoon, around the fourth or fifth time Envy's winked out of existence and appeared somewhere else. This time, he doesn't recognize where he is. He's on some kind of wide, flat, steep as hell road surrounded by ocean. And he gets exactly five seconds to look around before he hears the sound of his oncoming doom. Doom sounds a whole lot like a whole lot of wheels on pavement. Apparently, today sounded like a good day for half the cyclists in existence to have a marathon race down Cycling Road.]

[If Envy didn't have his superpowers, he would have had a not fun time getting run over. But since he does have them, he's able to leap twenty feet in the air like the world's most startled cat, and thank goodness there's a big metal support arch there for him to grab onto and haul himself on top of.]

[The cyclists just keep on coming, not in quite such a wave as the minutes pass, but there are still way too many for him to jump down or try to get off the main path. Yeah, he'll be staying up here for a little while. And the longer he does, the more he's deciding on how best to knock over the most bicycles in one go.]

[B: Anywhere]

[Envy can be found just about anywhere, but since this is one of the few times a year he gets to use his powers, he might not look like himself. If anyone watches him walk down the street or route for long enough, they'll probably see him glow bright white and suddenly look like a totally different person mid-stride. He's also up for some gratuitous property destruction any time for any reason at all.]

[There's also some things following him, which he's very deliberately ignoring. They look like…floating tree stumps? There's a few of them, peeking up behind trash bins and lampposts, staying mostly out of sight.]

Comments

[exeggutorhead]

For us to be anywhere, there'd have to be an us in the first place.

[He looks like he's picking his words carefully, looking at the "stranger" with a mix of confusion and wariness. He definitely notes how tense he is. This isn't Archer, that much he knows. And there's really only one way for a near-copy to be acting like he knows Envy, but...there's no way. Archer wasn't turned into a homunculus, and there's no way he'd know Envy even if he had been.]

You're a homunculus, aren't you?

[schlachtfeld]

[He bristles at that, but it's clear he doesn't really want to do anything about it.

Envy acting like he doesn't know him? What the hell is going on?]

Why are you asking that?

[What's going on. He had been in the east, he had just... and then...

Well, his life had just been destroyed. That's what happened.]

[He's grateful that his glasses obscure his face, because it hides how confused and alarmed he is.]

Why would you ask a question you already know the answer to?

[exeggutorhead]

Because I don't know the answer. I've never met you.

[He rubs the bridge of his nose in frustration. Really? Wasn't two versions of Amestris bad enough?]

Look, this place does really weird things with timelines, you're gonna have to take my word for it. What's your name?

[schlachtfeld]

[At that he visibly hesitates because while he never did learn anything about the previous Greed, he knew that there had been some sort of relationship there between him and Envy and he's not exactly in the mood to explore it right now.]

Greed.

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy definitely tenses at that name, but doesn't look angry about it. It's not nearly so bad when Greed is alive and already in Johto.]

And I guess I don't need to introduce myself. So, care to tell me how we know each other? Because I don't like talking to people who know me when I don't know a thing about them.

[schlachtfeld]

[Well that went better than expected.]

Dante. She found out about me somehow. So I stayed in that house for a time. You were one of the two meant to watch over me.

[And he doesn't want to talk about what Envy did specifically because he can't talk about Kimbley and keep his voice steady.]

I'm going to kill her.

[Said like he's expecting a challenge.]

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy listens to the short explanation, nodding at the first part. He wouldn't be named Greed if Dante hadn't gotten ahold of him…and judging from how jumpy and tense this one's acting, he and Envy probably didn't get along. And…ugh, this is awkward, he doesn't like that someone he knows here has been turned into a homunculus in any universe.]

[But then there's the killing Dante, and Envy actually lets out a short bark of a laugh.]

I think there's probably a line for her by now, kid. You'll all have to draw straws.

[Yes Greed you are clearly a child. Envy's not in that "line", he's still not really comfortable with the idea of her being dead, in spite of everything, but…he's not her loyal servant anymore. He couldn't go back to that, not now.]

[schlachtfeld]

[He'd gotten the name before Dante, actually, but bringing himself to talk about that... he's not sure he can do it.]

[His eyes narrow at being called "kid", but he doesn't do anything about it.

And Envy acting like this confuses him more than anything.]

I'll be the one to do it.

[He deadpans it, of course, but it's also rather obvious that Greed is actually completely clueless about actual fighting. He's only been alive for a handful of months.]

[exeggutorhead]

Sure you will.

[No matter how much he changes, Envy will be sarcastic about inappropriate things until the day the sun explodes.]

And you "stayed" in that house...you've left, then?

[schlachtfeld]

[He may have tricked Lust into getting him to leave. How he did this, who knows.]

That's correct. She's not my master. I refuse to take orders from her.

[Which certainly implies he would take orders from someone else. Good job letting that slip, Greed.

And by how he's refusing to give detailed answers, it's again, obvious that this went badly.]

[exeggutorhead]

Figures. She should've known better than to name another homunculus Greed.

[That's okay, because he doesn't need or really want to know this guy's whole sob story.]

But you're out of luck for now, because as far as I know she's not here. I think. If she is, I haven't seen her.

[schlachtfeld]

She didn't name me. I named myself.

[Important distinction to make.]

[Hearing that she's not here doesn't seem to bother him too much.]

Then I'll go back. And I'll kill her there.

[exeggutorhead]

[Wait what.]

Really? You named yourself Greed. Were you already with the rest of us by then?

[Envy doesn't...really believe that. He knows Dante doesn't let them pick their own names, and why would he just happen to pick the right naming scheme?]

[schlachtfeld]

No.

I was with someone else. As I said, she found out about me so I went with her. It wasn't my choice.

I was... given a few different names he thought fit me. So I chose Greed. She never saw fit to change it.

[This is too close to talking about Kimbley for his comfort.]

[exeggutorhead]

And by him you mean your creator, the one whose orders you want to follow.

[Maybe? That's what Envy's putting together out of all of Greed's Not Saying Things.]

[schlachtfeld]

[He stares for a moment, not sure what to say.

Luckily, he decides the truth is best here since everyone knew about his origin in the group already.]

Yes.

[exeggutorhead]

[He nods, thinking all this over. This is all really weird, and Envy doesn't much like it. A thought occurs to him, and he frowns.]

Just to be clear, you're not out to kill me too, are you?

Seeing as how you're so big on revenge and all. We clearly didn't get along, since you were acting like I was gonna stab you or something.

[schlachtfeld]

[Greed shakes his head. He's pretty sure that this Envy is honestly different somehow. Why he's not sure, but he did say something about how time did strange things.]

No. I'm not going to do anything to you.

[In no small part because Envy is stronger than him and he knows it.]

[As for the second point, he doesn't exactly respond except to offer a slight nod.]

[exeggutorhead]

Good. Because I'd win.

[Right now the only problem he has with this homunculus is his awkward and unfortunate resemblance to someone Envy knows. But if Greed had intended to go after him, well. All bets would be off then.]

[...one of those little treestump ghosts that's been following Envy around has been creeping steadily closer, and decides that now is a good time to poke its head out from behind Greed, one little nubbin-arm grabbing onto his shirt. Hi guys. c:]

[schlachtfeld]

[The look he gives makes it clear that he's completely aware of this fact. Fortunately for him, his issues with Envy were never something that constituted as being worth risking painful death over.]

[And then he realizes he's been grabbed by something and startles, trying to jerk away from whatever the hell that thing is.]

What is that?!

[exeggutorhead]

Hell if I know, looks like a Ghost type.

[Duh don't you know the Pokemon types Greed. The Phantump shies away at Greed's sudden movement and lets go of his arm, but doesn't disappear. Envy frowns at it as he pulls out his 'Gear, aiming it at the unknown Pokemon. A robotic voice pipes up:]

PHANTUMP: The Stump Pokemon.

These Pokémon are created when spirits possess rotten tree stumps. They prefer to live in abandoned forests. According to old tales, these Pokémon are stumps possessed by the spirits of children who died while lost in the forest.

[And now that frown turns into a full-on glare. Oh hell no he is not turning into the dead person orphanage.]

Seriously?

[schlachtfeld]

[What the hell.

He doesn't understand the technology that Envy has on him, but that's not important because apparently that thing is a dead child and he is now massively disturbed.]

I don't understand. What's going on?