exeggutorhead | IC Contact

[Under everything else, the powerful emotions and the panic, there's a nervous, warm fluttering in his chest, and he swallows hard. Yes, she'd kissed him first, but he hadn't been entirely certain that it wasn't an accident and some things he needs to hear said before they can really sink in and not be second-guessed in circles forever. She likes him, she's LIKED him. He hasn't doubted the strength of their friendship in a good long while, not since those murky weeks after his mother had shown up over the weekend, but that she'd want him in her life in this way too is something new.]

[He learned a lot about romance from France, but he's always felt out of his depth in it, like he was desperately making it up as he went along. He suspects he always will. France had been willing to be patient, to love him anyway even through emotional instability and the solid year and a half where Envy would barely even embrace him, but he hadn't thought that anyone else would be. He knows he's not exactly an ideal partner.]

[When she brings France up, he feels his throat constrict oddly, and he knows he has to say something then.]

Hey, hey--Heather, breathe...

[He might not be one to talk, he's not much better off than she is now that the last five seconds and everything SHE'S saying are really catching up with him. This is actually happening. Tentatively, he reaches one hand up to squeeze lightly at her shoulder, and maybe it's a bad idea to go initiating more touching right now but aren't bad ideas his thing?]

If that's what you are, I think--even then, we're still on the same page, aren't we? You're talking to the poster monster of 'can't get his shit together', I don't know how France ever put up with me all that time.

[He gives her a crooked little grin, but his voice is insistent, wanting her to believe that he's not just teasing her about this. He means every word that rambles out of his mouth because he KNOWS, intimately, how important this kind of thing can be.]

[You're not less, you're not the same but you're just as good.]

And I don't--I don't want another France. I don't have all these feelings because I want a replacement, I didn't think I'd ever want anyone else ever again until I realized about...about this. They're for you.

And...maybe it's just me, but I don't think you're a stupid kid.

_{[She hadn't even noticed how badly she'd been running out of breath until he points it out himself, and she shuts up long enough to catch it, letting him talk.]

[The tables have turned, a little; now HE'S the one making sense and SHE'S the one trying to muddle through years of negative, illogical reasoning. He's right, is the thing. They're both messed-up. And he's already seen her closer to her worst than almost anybody else has.]

[That last bit gets a bit of a smile and a half-laugh.]}

Well-- thanks, I guess, heh...

_{[But then she sobers up again, folding her hands in her lap and looking back at him with a creased brow.]}

So... what do we do now?

[After a moment of fierce internal debate, he decides that he wants to leave his hand on her shoulder, even after what he said seems to have helped. Besides, they're not quite out of the woods yet.]

[He lets out a breath at the question, watching the little puff of condensation form and dissipate in front of him. It seems like it's gotten a colder out here since they've been talking, but he's not paying it any mind. Right now, there's something that completely trumps his dislike of freezing weather.]

I'm...not sure. We both feel the same, so...we should be together, shouldn't we?

I'd like that.

Edited 2016-01-29 06:16 (UTC)

Me too.

_{[That reply leaps out fast.]

[Because she would. She'd like it a lot.]

[As much as her growing homesickness over the past few months had genuinely been for the house and everyone in it, she'd been aware all along that there had been more to the crushing loneliness she'd felt every night in her sad little tent or tiny hotel room than just that.]

[It hadn't been pining-- Heather Mason didn't pine.]

[So much of her life, both this one and the last, had been solitary and she'd come to accept that. She didn't need someone else there-- she'd always gotten by and she always would. It wasn't always fun, but she could do it, no sweat. ... But sometimes, more often lately than ever before, and especially when she was curled up in that cold sleeping bag on hard, frozen earth, she really, really wanted there to be someone else next to her. Someone to just burrow against when she was tired and miserable.]

[And for months now it had been Envy-- the one who she'd made more late-night phonecalls to in the past year than anyone else-- that her thoughts turned to in those moments.]

[After a moment of deep, obvious thought, she licks her lips apprehensively and slowly speaks.]}

... There's... there's no way we can see what's coming in this place.

You might disappear tomorrow, or me.

I mean... that's what's always kept me from-- from doing this with anyone else, from... even admitting it, but... you're different, and...

_{[Another brief pause, because her throat is tightening, but then she tentatively lifts her hand again. This time, it's Envy's chest she lays it on, even though her gaze has fallen down to the rooftop they're sitting on again. The words that come out of her mouth next are ones that would never, ever over her dead body escape her throat on any other night but this one where all the barriers are gone.]}

... I don't wanna be alone anymore.

[The speed of her response isn't surprising, not after everything else. But it still sends warmth leaping up in his chest somewhere, in a way that even a few months ago he hadn't thought he'd feel for anyone again. Not unless France returned. But there it is, all the same, and the more she talks the tighter his own throat becomes.]

[He nods along to the mention that one or the other of them might disappear at any moment. They've both been here so long that they know it could happen, that it probably WILL happen. Nobody has ever been safe forever.]

[He thinks of the scrapbook, tucked safely on a shelf in his room. Of all the trinkets and gifts he's gotten from people long gone now. It hurts to lose them, more than anything, and he's terrified of what might happen if he has to go through anything like when France left again...but he can't regret letting them in. If the two of them can be happy for even a little while...even if they vanish, the other will have that much to remember.]

[His eyes widen slightly at her admission, and after a moment's hesitation he brings his own free hand up to place it over hers on his chest, gripping it and leaning closer in towards her because he doesn't feel like they're close enough.]

You won't be. As long as I'm here, you won't be alone.

And I'd rather...even if one of us disappears, I don't--I don't want to have wasted any time.

_{[She splays her fingers when he lays his hand over them, looking back up to meet his eyes. Her own are still a little unsure-looking, still under furrowed brows... but there's something determined there, too.]

[This is happening. She hadn't meant it to, but by god, it is, and they just kind of have to roll with it.]}

Me either.

I'm sick of wasting time.

_{[And, to be honest, sick of being a hypocrite.]}

We-- ... in this place, you gotta appreciate what you've got. And-- and I've got you. For how long, I don't know, but-- fuck. We can cross that bridge when one of us comes to it, can't we?!

_{[She's trying to convince herself even more than she's trying to convince him, but it's actually kind of working. Her voice goes up in volume, bouncing off the sides of the neighbors' houses.]}

If one of us goes, I wanna... I wanna be able to say FUCK IT, we had fun while it lasted!

[Her enthusiasm is contagious, and the volume of his voice goes up along with hers. The neighbors will probably be confused, but he doesn't care. They can just deal with it.]

That's right you've got me. We've got each other now, so FUCK the future, and disappearances too!

[This is the kind of no filters that's a whole lot easier to deal with.]

FUCK IT!

_{[This is the kind of no filters that they're both a lot better at.]

[Heather doesn't even bother to come up with another rambly response-- instead she just promptly follows his example and yells, even louder--]}

FUCK IT!

_{[Oh man that felt great.]

[Encouraged by the sound of her own voice in the still night, she props herself up higher on her hands, bringing her feet under her. And HOLLERS AT THE EMPTY STREET.]}

FUCK-IT-FUCK-IT-FUCK-IT!!

[When she starts outright chanting, Envy joins right in. It DOES feel good.]

[This day has been long and way too emotionally intense, and screaming obscenities into quiet wintery suburbia is exactly the kind of thing they need.]

FUCK-IT-FUCK-IT-FUCK-IT!

[Down the street, a Houndour hears the noise and decides that HE wants to join in too, with a loud howl. Within minutes, literally every canine within earshot has joined in the chorus of howls and barks.]

_{[There's something distinctly juvenile about what they're doing, but goddamn if it isn't the perfect cure for the anxious tightness that's been in her chest ever since she opened that trapdoor-- even after they'd both made their confessions.]

[When the cacophony of yapping starts up from up and down the street, she cuts off mid-fuckit with a slightly startled look... but then starts to giggle.]

[And once she starts, she can't stop.]

[Soon she's just straight-up laughing, doubling over slightly in her seat, breath pluming visibly in front of her.]}

[He keeps going for one or two more fuckits before he notices that she's stopped, and cuts off himself to look over curiously. ]

[And once he's stopped, he can hear her go from giggles to laughter, and can't help but think that he really likes how it sounds.]

Fuck, we've done it now, haven't we?

[But the thread of a laugh has already crept into his own voice, and soon enough he's laughing right along with her. It's cathartic as hell, after everything, even more than the cursing had been.]

[He doesn't have to think about anything but how they'll be okay, in spite of themselves. And that thought just gets him to--after a bit of hesitation--move an arm to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her closer in something like a hug.]

[He doesn't know what's going to happen or what they'll do later or anything at all, and he doesn't want to, but right now in this moment, they'll be okay.]

_{[Not quite able to get the words out through her laughter, she nods, wiping at her eyes with the heel of one palm.]

[The thought is, apparently, contagious-- because hearing HIM laughing openly and unguardedly like that is, suddenly, something she knows she wants to hear more of.]

[As his arm snakes around her, she leans into it willingly, and, just as spontaneously but now fully on purpose, rocks forward on her knees to kiss him again. This time, she doesn't pull away.]}

[This kiss isn't nearly as much of a surprise as the first one, aside from the whole idea that kissing Heather is going to be a thing now.]

[Another burst of emotion twists in his chest at that thought, and not at all in a bad way. This is all really, actually happening.]

[His still surprise doesn't last more than a moment before he's pressing into the kiss himself, tilting his head slightly for a little bit better angle and letting his eyes close.]

[The first icy pinprick of rain on his cheek doesn't even really register.]

Edited 2016-01-29 16:53 (UTC)

_{[Her lean is a little precarious-- knees behind her, one palm steadying itself on the rooftop next to one of Envy's legs, but... she just doesn't care.]

[And she doesn't care about the little pops of coldness hitting her hair, either. ... Well. At least not until an icy raindrop hits her right on the back of the neck, anyway.]

[Then she breaks the kiss, cursing softly under her breath.]}

Aw, man... the sky was clear as glass a moment ago...

_{[The cloud cover had rolled in without either of them even realizing it, and the empty cold of a starless, un-insulating sky had been replaced by the frosty nip of precipitation to come.]}

[Even as she says it, the scattered drops start coming more frequently. It's not true rain yet, but it's about to be. And Envy can even see a few swirling snowflakes in the light from the streetlamps.]

[With the kiss broken, that leaves Envy free to shoot a sour glare at the sky. DAMN IT, SKY, THEY WERE BUSY.]

[Maybe if it were summer, he'd have suggested that they could stay up here a little longer. But it's not, and sitting in freezing sleet isn't fun no matter what. He starts scooting for the trapdoor, leaving one hand lightly on her arm as he does. He doesn't really want to let go quite yet.]

Damn it--c'mon, quick, before it really hits us.

_{[She wastes no time in following.]

[She'd had MORE than enough of being out in the winter weather during her extended away-from-home period.]}

Ugh.

_{[Once they're both down, she yanks the latch shut behind them and rubs her arms-- she doesn't feel cold, exactly, but it's just hitting her now that they'd been sitting up there awhile, and her hands are like ice.]}

... Y'wanna make some hot chocolate?

[It's strange, the musty dimness of the attic and the relative warmth of the house make it feel like almost an entirely different world than up on the roof in the open night air. Especially with all that had just happened.]

[It makes the change between them feel more real.]

Yes.

[It's a quick answer; he was wearing gloves and a thick jacket and he's still chilled. But he never has liked being cold.]

...maybe we could take it to my room?

[A second later, he realizes the potential implications of that and hurriedly clarifies:]

Just so we can keep talking, I mean Henry's probably asleep in the living room and who knows who else might wake up and come downstairs, after all those dogs barking.

_{[His hasty clarification makes her chuckle slightly-- the obvious conclusion to be jumped to clearly occurred to both of them. But she feels like she knew what he meant to begin with. Still, she shoots him a crooked, playful grin. It's a slightly shier variant of the one she usually wears, but it's still her.]}

Hehe, what, you don't wanna immediately jump into the wild, passionate makeouts? I guess we can just hang out.

_{[The suggestion is actually a relief, to be honest. The living room, normally a very cozy den, feels somehow open and unprotected right now. There's something surreal and dreamlike about the atmosphere of the house, the contrast between the quiet attic and the slowly-increasing drum of raindrops above, and she finds she really doesn't want to encounter or have to deal with anyone other than Envy right this second.]

[Holing up in his room with just cocoa and each other for company sounds really nice.]

[She starts towards the stairs, but pauses briefly, looking back at him.]}

Let's try and be real quiet... I don't know about you, but I don't really feel like... explaining things to anyone tonight.

[He laughs--quietly, because he doesn't want to talk to attract any attention either, lifting both hands in a shrug.]

I dunno, we should probably wait at least an hour after getting together before we give ourselves over to our true amorous desires.

[Following after her, he nods. It would be easy enough to just tell anyone that they'd been laughing it up on the roof in the middle of the night because that's just something they do, nothing strange or unusual about it. But he doesn't want to even do that much, he just wants to talk to Heather and be near her, nobody else involved.]

Yeah...me either. Good thing we've got so much practice sneaking around this house in the dead of night, heh.

[And quietly making hot drinks in the kitchen without waking anyone else, even. All the previous nights of sleepless wandering come in handy, sometimes. He doesn't say anything else as they make their way down into the house and into the kitchen to start getting the hot chocolate ready. The rain has started in earnest now, pattering on the windows and making the only noise besides quiet footsteps, the small chinks of mugs being taken out, and the hiss of hot water. It's not even close to the first time this sort of scene has played out in this particular kitchen, but...there's an undeniably a different feeling to it. There's a nervous, bubbling warmth all through Envy's chest, making even this small, mundane thing seem new.]

_{[Right from the start, this house has been full of nighttime wanderers, and Heather's grateful that she and Envy seem to be the only ones actively doing so at the moment. It maintains the strange little illusion that they're in their own tiny world, a fuzzy bubble of warmth and quiet against the slow fall of sleet outside. And every time they bump elbows or brush by each other, there's a prickle of nerves in her stomach. But it's not a bad feeling.]

[Once she's got her mug safely clutched with both hands so it doesn't spill, she starts for the stairs, automatically assuming the lead-- but then stops, glancing back again. It's HIS room, maybe barging straight in there would be presumptuous. She's never actually spent any amount of time in there before. Even if it's just his living space now, it used to be the abode of a couple and-- well-- you know, privacy is good.]

[She cracks a grin and quips quietly--]}

... Last chance to hide anything embarrassing before I see it.

[He let's out a tiny huff of a laugh, muttering in mock anxiety.]

Oh shit, I'd better hurry and hide all of my Pokemon Place collection.

[...he doesn't think he left any underwear lying around? Lust comes in to see him on a regular enough basis that he tends to not leave anything out that he doesn't want anyone else to see, even now that he's the only one who stays in there.]

[The room is a little messy, but it's the sort of mess that's more from clutter and day to day living than anything else, no trash or empty food containers or dirty plates in sight. The bed isn't neatly made, for sure--more like halfway to a veritable nest of blankets and pillows--and there are a few stray clothes lying around. France had seen to it that, once they had a permanent living area, that there were plenty of Pokemon-safe shelves for all of the things they'd collected over the years, mainly Christmas gifts and the like. It's clear that only one person lives in it now; Envy had put most of France's remaining things away, where they wouldn't be an overwhelming reminder, and only left a few out. There are a few snoozing Pokemon curled up around the room, some of which look up when the two of them walk in and then go right back to sleep.]

[Envy turns on a lamp sitting near the door to give them some light, because honestly flipping on the ceiling light seems like it would be too bright and would probably stir up the animals, and gestures grandly with his free hand as he leads the way in.]

And here it is.

...uh. There's not...any chairs, though.

[He always just sits on his bed. Welp.]

_{[It's honestly a relief to see that not a whole lot of France's influence is left on the room. She feels a little bad for thinking it, but even with Envy's reassurance that he doesn't want any sort of replacement for his former boyfriend, she still gets a guilty twinge herself just thinking about it. The clutter is comforting.]}

That's fine.

_{[She doesn't see anything wrong with sitting on the bed-- a traveling trainer gets used to sitting wherever they can. So she plops right down, still holding her mug close.]}

Heh, I don't think I've been in an honest to god bedroom since that time I had to go help Lust unclog the shower drain last year.

_{[Hotel rooms don't count.]}

[Envy takes a second to shrug off his jacket and kick off his shoes too while he's at it, the gloves already having come off while they were in the kitchen. He hesitates for a second before going ahead and sitting down right next to her, automatically drawing his legs up to sit crosslegged. He's just taken an experimental sip from his mug to see if it's still too hot when she says that and he winds up sputtering.]

Wait, what happened? I didn't hear about this.

[His eyes have lit up at the potentially hilarious story here. Because for all the nerves and emotions, some things don't change about the way they interact, and that's a relief too.]

--oh god, you didn't hear about that?

_{[She follows his lead, drawing her own feet onto the bed-- she'd taken her shoes off by the door earlier, only threadbare socks adorn them now-- though she keeps her knees to her chest, planting her chin onto them and wrapping her arms around so that she can still sip the hot chocolate.]}

It was... man. I don't know, I think not too long after Henry and I moved in?

Her shower just... stopped draining, so she called me and I get up there, and like-- _{[Her voice starts to crack into laughter, because in hindsight, it is really fucking funny.]}

Lust is just-- she's got a towel and she's just soaking wet and looking real unamused, and there's like five inches of water in the shower stall and-- haha-- Guttle is just having the time of his fucking life in there, rolling around and splashing and makin' ork-ork noises.

And I'm like-- trying to ignore the fact that Lust only has a towel on-- _{[It had been before New Years but in hindsight she'd been a little flustered at the sight even then, before she actually knew what was going on in her head.]}-- and I go in, and check out the drain, and just-- pull this two-foot-long mass of wet hair from the drain, and Lust made a face like--

_{[She mimes an appropriately Lust-like look of horror and disgust.]}

[Envy's face just gets steadily more delighted the longer the story goes on, and his shoulders are shaking from trying to hold in as much laughter as he can so that they don't wake anyone else up or spill cocoa all over the bed.]

[The face she makes though is too much, and he lets out a burst of laughter that's almost a BARK before reining it back in to quieter snickers.]

Holy shit, what I would've paid to see that.

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lmao I meant to type 'cloudless' not 'starless' oops

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