[Envy's a light sleeper, even here, so the knock at the door wakes him right up. He slides quietly out of the bed and to the door, wondering who it could be. Usually when his housemates wanted something in the middle of the night, they just sent him a 'Gear message.]
[He opens the door just enough to see out, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He's just wearing the shorts and t-shirt he normally wears to sleep, and his hair is messily tied back.]
[He opens it wider when he sees just who's standing outside.]
Lust? What is it?
[He can tell that she looks upset about something. What had happened?]
[A lot of the people in this house have nightmares, Envy included. They wind up wandering the house in the night, sometimes running into each other in the halls or in the kitchen. And...now that he thought of it, he hadn't ever run into Lust. He hadn't realized until right now that she might not have already had some.]
[He takes a step further out into the hall, closer to her, and waves one hand.]
Eh, it's not that late.
[He says it casually in his usual way, as though there's nothing the matter at all. But his eyes are looking at her with more concern. He hesitates a second before adding:]
[At first, Lust thinks no, she doesn't want to talk about it. Giving voice to it could only make it stronger, couldn't it? But that was ridiculous. Keeping it locked inside would do more harm. But there's that instinct that still tugs at her whenever she exposes the depth of her human weakness to Envy.]
[That's ridiculous, too, but she knows he can understand it. She leans against the wall and wipes at her face with her hand.]
[Yes, he understands that feeling entirely too well.]
[He steps fully out into the hall, nudging the door shut behind him so that they don't wake France up. He stands to the side of her, and reaches one hand to put it lightly over her shoulder.]
'S just a dream. That's all it was.
[It's not okay, he knows that and won't say it, but it wasn't real.]
...I've had that one, too.
[So that she's not the only one exposing weakness, here.]
[It's the same sort of knowledgable tone he would have used when he told her things as a very young homunculus, just following him around and learning.]
[Dreams, fortunately for them all, aren't as persistent as those plaguing memories. When she leans into him, he uses that hand on her shoulder to tug her a little closer; he knows that closeness is a comforting thing, especially after something like that. It's not really a hug, but it's close enough to one coming from him. His grip is tighter, more protective.]
I tell myself that, but that doesn't change anything I did. Not all the blood on my hands deserved to be spilled.
[And there's the root of it. There are things she can make up for - Scar, Alphonse, general wrong doings. But there were those things she never could. They sat like a weight inside of her now, heavy and cold.]
I know it's stupid, I can't change anything. I'm not that...that tool anymore. I don't hurt people anymore.
[But she couldn't stop the way she felt about it right now, in the wake of that awful dream.]
[There's not much comforting he can do about that. Their ways of coping have always been very different.]
No, you're not. And you don't.
...I'd tell you not to think about it too much, but I know better. [He offers her a small half-grin. Humor and acting as normal as possible have become his preferred ways of reassurance here.]
...why don't you stay with me tonight? It's better than being alone, sometimes.
[Lust manages a small laugh at that. No, there's no way she can just not think about it much. She can't stop thinking even when she tries, and Envy knows her better than anyone. She's reminded again how glad she is that he's here, that they can have each other like this.]
I wouldn't want to intrude....
[But oh god, she does want to. She hates the thought of going back to bed and lying there in the dark, alone save her Pokemon. There's some deep seated instinct to seek out kin and comfort like children do - crawling into their parents bed at night when they're frightened. Except lacking parents, she has her brother and his companion.]
[It's a relief, hearing that laugh. Envy shakes his head lightly. He doesn't like the idea of her stuck alone with those kinds of thoughts either. He wasn't there for her enough, before, but he can be now.]
It's not intruding if I invited you. There's room. And we were only sleeping, anyway.
[He lets go of her so that he can open the door back up, walking back into the dark room quietly and slowly enough that she can stay close on the way. He climbs into the bed first, scooting into the middle of it.]
[She really doesn't want to intrude, and while she's come to consider Envy's partner family in a sense, that doesn't mean she has leave to crawl into their bed when she's upset. Even though she very much wants to, now that Envy's offered the option.]
[And since he does seem sure, she pads softly into the bedroom after him, and slips gratefully into the warm bed. It's comfortable and welcoming and the scent of it is familiar. Familial.]
[France might be surprised in the morning, but Envy's sure that he wouldn't mind sharing for a night, not when the extra person is Envy's sister who's just had her first, very upsetting nightmare.]
[It's too dark in the room for her to really see his grin, but she can probably hear it in his voice.]
It's what brothers are supposed to do, isn't it?
[His voice is as quiet as hers. It still amazes him, that they're able to be anything approaching what a brother and sister are "supposed" to be like. That they can do something as simple as this, something that would have been impossible before.]
[Johto might take people away, but what it offers back makes that a whole lot easier to bear.]
[It's such a strange thing. Not long ago and Lust would have scoffed at the idea of family. Proper family as humans mean it, all sentimental ties and strong affection. Now it's something she clings to, this fact that she has a family. It's a small one, and cobbled together with broken bits and patched cracks, but it is family. A good family.]
[She understands that this, too, is something she wanted but didn't realize. Just another piece of an existence and nature she didn't comprehend but craved desperately anyway. The humanity, she has learned, is secondary. Unnecessary to her true goals in the long run,despite attaining it. She would have family even if this world hadn't changed her biology.]
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[He opens the door just enough to see out, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He's just wearing the shorts and t-shirt he normally wears to sleep, and his hair is messily tied back.]
[He opens it wider when he sees just who's standing outside.]
Lust? What is it?
[He can tell that she looks upset about something. What had happened?]
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[Lust sighs, her arms wrapped around herself. This is pathetic, but so be it. Welcome to humanity, at least Envy understands.]
I had a bad dream.
[She swallows]
I'm sorry, I know it's late but...that's never happened...
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[A lot of the people in this house have nightmares, Envy included. They wind up wandering the house in the night, sometimes running into each other in the halls or in the kitchen. And...now that he thought of it, he hadn't ever run into Lust. He hadn't realized until right now that she might not have already had some.]
[He takes a step further out into the hall, closer to her, and waves one hand.]
Eh, it's not that late.
[He says it casually in his usual way, as though there's nothing the matter at all. But his eyes are looking at her with more concern. He hesitates a second before adding:]
You want to tell me?
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[That's ridiculous, too, but she knows he can understand it. She leans against the wall and wipes at her face with her hand.]
Everyone was dead. I did it.
[The words are flat and quiet.]
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[He steps fully out into the hall, nudging the door shut behind him so that they don't wake France up. He stands to the side of her, and reaches one hand to put it lightly over her shoulder.]
'S just a dream. That's all it was.
[It's not okay, he knows that and won't say it, but it wasn't real.]
...I've had that one, too.
[So that she's not the only one exposing weakness, here.]
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[Vivid and vibrant.]
Even...at the end, I knew it was a dream. But I couldn't wake up, or change anything, I just... it was like being trapped.
[She leans into Envy when he puts his hand on her shoulder, not bothering to hide her shaking. Not from him, not now.]
And worse than the dream is waking an knowing...I would have done it. Not even a few years ago and I would have.
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[It's the same sort of knowledgable tone he would have used when he told her things as a very young homunculus, just following him around and learning.]
[Dreams, fortunately for them all, aren't as persistent as those plaguing memories. When she leans into him, he uses that hand on her shoulder to tug her a little closer; he knows that closeness is a comforting thing, especially after something like that. It's not really a hug, but it's close enough to one coming from him. His grip is tighter, more protective.]
But you wouldn't now, and that's what matters.
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[And there's the root of it. There are things she can make up for - Scar, Alphonse, general wrong doings. But there were those things she never could. They sat like a weight inside of her now, heavy and cold.]
I know it's stupid, I can't change anything. I'm not that...that tool anymore. I don't hurt people anymore.
[But she couldn't stop the way she felt about it right now, in the wake of that awful dream.]
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No, you're not. And you don't.
...I'd tell you not to think about it too much, but I know better. [He offers her a small half-grin. Humor and acting as normal as possible have become his preferred ways of reassurance here.]
...why don't you stay with me tonight? It's better than being alone, sometimes.
[He's pretty sure there'll be enough room.]
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I wouldn't want to intrude....
[But oh god, she does want to. She hates the thought of going back to bed and lying there in the dark, alone save her Pokemon. There's some deep seated instinct to seek out kin and comfort like children do - crawling into their parents bed at night when they're frightened. Except lacking parents, she has her brother and his companion.]
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It's not intruding if I invited you. There's room. And we were only sleeping, anyway.
[He lets go of her so that he can open the door back up, walking back into the dark room quietly and slowly enough that she can stay close on the way. He climbs into the bed first, scooting into the middle of it.]
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[She really doesn't want to intrude, and while she's come to consider Envy's partner family in a sense, that doesn't mean she has leave to crawl into their bed when she's upset. Even though she very much wants to, now that Envy's offered the option.]
[And since he does seem sure, she pads softly into the bedroom after him, and slips gratefully into the warm bed. It's comfortable and welcoming and the scent of it is familiar. Familial.]
Thank you.
[The words are softly spoken.]
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[It's too dark in the room for her to really see his grin, but she can probably hear it in his voice.]
It's what brothers are supposed to do, isn't it?
[His voice is as quiet as hers. It still amazes him, that they're able to be anything approaching what a brother and sister are "supposed" to be like. That they can do something as simple as this, something that would have been impossible before.]
[Johto might take people away, but what it offers back makes that a whole lot easier to bear.]
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[She understands that this, too, is something she wanted but didn't realize. Just another piece of an existence and nature she didn't comprehend but craved desperately anyway. The humanity, she has learned, is secondary. Unnecessary to her true goals in the long run,despite attaining it. She would have family even if this world hadn't changed her biology.]
I couldn't ask for a better big brother.