IC Inbox

[exeggutorhead]

"Hey, this is Envy. I'm busy or not around, so say whatever you want here and I might get back to you about it."

Comments

[officerdown]

[Another five seconds of complete silence, and an increasingly disbelieving look on his face. His eyes narrow.]

How many children have you known, Envy?

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy actually stops to think. He doesn't start literally counting on his fingers but they do start curling absently like he's doing it in his head.]

Known at least...more than ten kids. And also kids loved us when we were doing the circus! They thought I was cool.

And they knew about drinking water as much as a horse would.

[He's pretty sure, anyway! He actually doesn't know but he doesn't have to say that.]

[officerdown]

[The disbelief is constantly evolving on Scar's face. Why would he care if kids think Envy is cool?]

A horse does not need to be reminded how to care for itself.

[exeggutorhead]

[Now it's Envy's turn to look disbelieving.]

Have you ever been near a horse? I remember when horses were the only option.

They definitely need to be reminded.

[officerdown]

When would I have--

[Hold up.]

When would you have--

[...No shot.]

How old are you?

[It's such a shock that Scar momentarily forgets his irritation.]

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy...actually didn't realize that Scar didn't know about this! He blinks, clearly also derailed.]

Huh--oh. I thought you knew already.

Somewhere around four hundred.

[And then, almost offhandedly.]

I was the first.

[He assumes he doesn't need to say what he was the first of.]

1/2

[officerdown]

[For a moment, it actually appears that Scar is meaningfully contemplating this information. Horses were still common, in rural Amestris. Only a few far-traveling merchants had ever owned cars, in Ishbal. It didn't need to be an excessively long time.]

[But four hundred years definitely qualifies as excessive. And he was with Dante? All that time? He never thought to...?]

[Scar's profoundly intimate understanding of one specific homunculus casts a hideously inaccurate bias on how things had been for all the others.]

[officerdown]

And you entertain yourself tormenting distressed strangers on the network?

[exeggutorhead]

[The moment's break in Envy's incessant smirking for casual sincere information giving is officially over now that Scar's annoyed again!]

[He shifts his shoulders to kind of shrug and does the little flippant motion with his hand again.]

Hey, like I said! I was also being very helpful and trying to make the horse drink.

Tormenting's a pretty strong word for telling someone they'll turn into a raisin.

[officerdown]

[Scar is deadpan.]

Lying to yourself that you've been helpful, and lying to a child you don't know. Consistent.

[And with that, he's turning to leave. WHATEVER.]