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[exeggutorhead]

"Hey, this is Envy. I'm busy or not around, so say whatever you want here and I might get back to you about it."

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[officerdown]

Scar's frown tightens as if he's performing a brief, but complex mental calculus for Envy's question.

"I'm not inclined to wish I knew."

Though...

He does, now.

[exeggutorhead]

He does now!!

Envy feels no pity. He goes back to scrolling through the article. God, but it really is awful.

Offhandedly, he adds, "I wasn't inclined to wish I knew your real name, so now we're even."

There! Now he doesn't have to deal with that quietly to himself anymore!

"Oh, I see why you looked at the table before."

1/?

[officerdown]

Scar doesn't even hear the comment about the table. The comment about the table does not exist. It is nebulous syllables floating impotently past his ears.

His face is one of skeptical confusion, pointed and gruff. The implication that Envy might know his name is on its own more than enough for the needle to slip off Scar's train of thought. The only place it's been written is kept safe and hidden among Lust's things. It isn't, nor has it ever been, something anyone in this house, or anywhere else, for that matter, should know. Deserves to know.

Envy is lying.

This is the very first thought Scar's brain fires off. It's a good thought. A reasonable thought, he presumes. Because the only time in his living memory it is ever so much as uttered is

[officerdown]

is

[officerdown]

Scar launches to his feet.

[officerdown]

He stares down at Envy, who has the gall to still be flicking through that depraved article on his phone as if he has said absolutely nothing of consequence.

For a moment longer, the crushing silence persists.

DONE

[officerdown]

"Not one word to her."

1/2

[exeggutorhead]

Envy had definitely expected SOME kind of reaction to that little news-drop but oh he really jumped up off the couch WOAH HEY NOW--

He's not entirely without self-preservation. He does very quickly retreat from his silly pose back over the couch in a swift motion, if only to get the piece of furniture between them. Just in case!

2/2

[exeggutorhead]

Although then he frowns, a little indignant. What do you take him for Scar?? God.

"I wasn't gonna. I didn't want to know."

[officerdown]

The wild intensity of Scar's eyes tracks Envy's scrambled trajectory over the back of the couch.

"And I'm certain it was so burdensome that you could not have simply kept it to yourself."

His tone barely changes, but the sarcasm is evident.

[exeggutorhead]

"You have no idea."

It's as deadpan a tone as Envy gets. Scar you don't understand the amount of psychic damage contained in that singular moment he's been so so strong to not tell anybody about it. Please don't pick him up off the ground by his hair like a turnip.

"Nobody else knows, by the way. Just me. You're welcome."

[officerdown]

"I have no idea," he barks, incredulous. "What a relief that I'm spared the judgement of an emotionally stunted, eavesdropping Amestrian."

HE PULLED THE BED AWAY FROM THE WALL AND EVERYTHING, ENVY.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEIR SACRED AND PROFANE BOND, ENVY.

[exeggutorhead]

"Eavesdrop--hey! I was just trying to go to sleep next door!"

HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SACRED AND PROFANE BOND THAT MUCH SCAR!!

[officerdown]

Envy gets glared at for a moment, two, three longer. Scar is flushed, with anger, with embarrassment, who could truly say? His jaw twitches.

"I don't care what you overhear. Don't speak a word of this."

A demand Scar has already made, but one he's more than willing to renew 90 seconds later.

[exeggutorhead]

"Like I said, I wasn't gonna. You're not the only person in the house with a name they don't use anymore."

Everyone except Henry, actually! Envy doesn't intend on blabbing about Heather's, though, he figures that his own secret human name is probably an obvious enough conclusion to reach.

[officerdown]

"No, of course you weren't going to say anything, why do that when you could lord it over me instead?"

God, better his than hers, if he had to choose, though. And he can't bring himself to be all that angry about Envy knowing, specifically because of the nature of how he learned it. What is he going to do? Apologize??

He won't be voicing that thought, though.

[exeggutorhead]

Hey!!

"If I was gonna lord it over you, I would be actually doing that and it would be so much more annoying."

He takes the art of being the worlds smarmiest little bastard man very seriously he spent a long time perfecting it!! It does not occur to him that what he's doing is still not in any way polite or graceful by any normal standards.

"You said not to tell anyone, and I said I wouldn't. I didn't know it was such a big deal, anyway."

[officerdown]

Scar watches Envy, incredulous but earnest.

"You didn't know," he repeats, as if the absurdity should be obvious. "I will remember that, should I happen learn your given name by accidental circumstance."

Didn't know... As if his first choice would be to exclusively be known by the disfigurement a State Alchemist burned into his face. It's been making him feel some kinda way, the further removed he is from his lifetime as more conduit for violence than man.

[exeggutorhead]

The more seconds tick by without him being swiftly punted into orbit, the more Envy figures he is...probably not going to be. He doesn't fully straighten up, but he leans his crossed forearms on the back of the couch instead of looking like he's actively hiding behind it. And huffs in response to the implied real name threat, rolling his eyes.

"I knew you don't use it for whatever mystery reason that was probably a deal not to go spreading around, not that it was a leap off the couch if I mention it big deal. You're not a homunculus, why would I just know it was like that?"

People have aliases for all kinds of reasons!!

"Anyway, I know now."

[officerdown]

Scar grinds his teeth together, keeping some semblance of a normal scowl. Even Envy's flippancy on the subject is an offense, in its own way. The subject isn't one to be taken lightly. His stare all but says as much. Now you know.

In an attempt to End the matter, Scar lowers himself back onto the couch, glances down at his phone, and--

"Oh God--"

He had already forgotten about booty hole. Scar visibly flinches.

[exeggutorhead]

Unfortunately for Scar, Envy is outwardly flippant about...many things that he probably shouldn't be. He and Heather have that in common. But the message was received, even so: Scar's Real Name Is Not Funny To Joke About.

He does relax farther out of being ready to dodge a punch as Scar sits back down, and while he doesn't climb all the way back over the way he had been before, the flinch DOES get him to lean a little more forward to look at the screen, resting his chin on his hand. Ah right, the terrible article....booty hole...he makes a face at the word.

"Nobody says that."

The bit about the kitchen table is also still on the screen from just before Whoops! Bad joke!

Surely the vibes could be smoothed over with another, different joke!

"The kitchen table is safe from my depravity though. Too short."

[officerdown]

"I am perfectly aware that nobody says that," Scar says evenly as he scowls down at his 'gear. He's desperately trying to close the page, but his broad thumb bumps a link to what his Sun sign can tell him about finding his soulmate this Summer.

Envy is still talking. Scar's eyes dart to the kitchen table in question, then over to Envy, then back to the table, where his attention lingers.

"That you are."

The emphasis on you is so subtle that it's plausibly deniable. A slip of the tongue. A ghost of warning shot.