exeggutorhead | 64th Transformation [FOURTH WALL]

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fourth wall

64th Transformation [FOURTH WALL]

[Envy's having a little bit of an issue this weekend.]

[Not swarming Pokemon or even teleportation, oh no. Those, he's gotten fairly good at handling. It's weird that these weekends are something anybody could get used to, but he just about has.]

[No, this time the problem is musical. There's a haunting song playing instead of the background music wherever Envy finds himself. It's scratchy and clearly sounds like it's coming out of an old phonograph, and he KNOWS that if he looks hard enough he'll probably find the damn thing somewhere. He knows he will because he DOES keep finding it, smashing it, and getting an hour or two of quiet before it COMES BACK.]

[Honestly, any reminders of his old master aside, he's spent four centuries listening to this waily goddamn song and he's just sick of it. So during the weekend, if anybody comes across him while the song is going, they'll find him pulling up bushes with his bare hands to look behind them and kicking around any spot where a phonograph could be hiding, trying to get it. And Envy will absolutely recruit passersby to help him out.]

[If the song isn't playing at the moment and providing a distraction, he'll be wandering around anywhere, still in the oddly subdued mood he's been in the past few weeks.]

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[Satisfied that Hentree isn't going anywhere, Envy turns his attention to Henry.]

I haven't either...I've seen other versions of people, but nothing like THIS.

What should we do with him? I tried getting him to calm down, it didn't work.

[THEN THINGS ESCALATED he's pretty sure that Hentree isn't going to calm down anytime soon. Considering that the tree is Henry's weird double, he figures his friend should have most of the say in what happens--he's decided already that Hentree had his chance to have a say and very promptly lost it.]

_{[He leans around Envy's coils, trying to see the weird leafy mirror of himself. The nymph just hisses and tries to bite through Envy's scales with his poisonous teeth.]}

We need to tell somebody.

[Sadly for Hentree, the scales are difficult to get through, and even if he does then poison doesn't really work on homunculi. But it still hurts, like a bee sting, and Envy bares his teeth warningly.]

Not the cops, they'd probably just think he was some new Pokemon and we'd get in trouble.

Let's take him back to the house, we can stick him in the basement or kitchen or something and call around.

[He straightens up like a cobra, picking the angry monster up as he rises and holding onto him with both clawed hands. Not too tightly; he still doesn't want to badly injure him.]

[But maybe a little tighter than he'd strictly have to. He's still mad.]

You can hitch a ride if you want, it'd be faster.

_{[It's rare for Henry to smile wide enough for it to reach his eyes, but this? This was a fucking grin that would put Totoro to shame.]}

Yes please!

_{[The ride will have to wait, because a bolt of black streaking down from above promptly collides with the back of Envy's head, right behind one of those earlike fins sprouting from the sides of his jaw. And then it proceeds to SINK A WHOLE LOT OF CLAWS AND TEETH IN.]

[Because that is HER TREE that the dragon has clamped in his coiled claws.]

[HARPY HEATHER HAS JOINED THE PARTY]}

[Envy lets out a genuine ROAR of surprise and pain when the harpy slams into the back of his head, shaking it violently back and forth and twisting his neck to try and get the attacker OFF of him.]

Oh, come ON!

[But he keeps a tight grip on Hentree, and the end of his tail coils around his Henry protectively, just in case whatever this is decides to go for the smaller target next.]

_{[Henry knows that unholy blur of black.]}

HEATHER!

_{[They fought a horrible twisted shadow of a god together. They can fight a stupid dragon! HE kicks against Envy's scales with his roots.]}

HEATHER?

_{[It came out as a squawk. Henry had recoiled when the devilbird appeared but now that he's looking up at it--at her-- he sees it.]}

Stop the ride, I want to get off.

_{[Okay, so, when she swooped down to attack the dragon, she hadn't actually SEEN the non-monster'd doppelganger of her fellow godslayer. She'd been more focused on the giant string-bean holding the Henry SHE knew captive.]

[But at the twin shouts, she finds herself momentarily distracted from her assault on the thrashing dragon's head, which she'd been clinging to doggedly.]

[What? WHAT? What was THAT?]

[Impossible. There couldn't be two Henries. Especially not one that was fully human again. She hadn't even SEEN him as a human in MONTHS. She'd known him longer as a tree than as a man.]

[Her own reply comes in a piercing shriek as she drops away from Envy's head and dives down towards the hands currently holding Hentree captive. NO TIME TO WORRY ABOUT TIME PARADOXES. FRAND IN TROUBLE!!]}

[Envy can't see the bird latched onto his head, but he's pretty sure that both Henries wouldn't be wrong about who exactly this bird is.]

[And then when she dives for his hands and he actually gets a look at her, he can see that they really ARE right. Even covered in feathers, there's not any mistaking Heather.]

[But if she knows monster tree Henry, then he's willing to bet that they're from the same place. And he wants to know what's going on. So he does the first thing he can think of.]

[Transform himself an extra set of dragon arms, just below the first, and quickly reach them to grab at bird Heather the moment they're formed enough.]

_{[The tree man gave another cry of dismay as his friend was snatched at and Henry couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy. He knew he'd do the same thing if he and the HEather he knew were being attacked by a dragon.]

[And if it really was him...maybe he could talk some sense into him.]}

H-hey! Hey, me! Stop fighting, no one is going to hurt you!

_{[Given everything that she's been through, Heather's prepared to anticipate a lot in the heat of the moment.]

[But rapid, spontaneous limb growth?]

[Not one of those things.]

[The arm erupting from the beast's previously-smooth side catches her off-guard and she shrieks as the scaly fingers close around her, beating her wings and thrashing like a snared tiger.]}

[Envy's careful grabbing her; she's a bird-thing, for all he knows her bones are hollow. The last thing he wants to do is break them by accident, even if she was just attacking him. Henry's shouted reasoning was a reminder to him too. He even loosens his grip on Hentree a little bit.]

He's right, I'm not going to hurt either of you. Look, Heather, he's fine. You're both fine. [He lifts the hand holding her so that she's on level with Hentree and they can see each other.]

If you'll calm down, we're going to figure out what the hell's going on.

[He nudges Henry with the end of his tail, trying to prompt him to get up on his back without actually saying anything and alerting the two monsters. He's still planning on heading to the house, and if Henry gets on he'll start slithering his way down the street.]

I don't know you!

_{[This time he said a full sentence instead of roaring...but it was still sort of a roar. The white fungus was peppering his body now--a ticking timebomb of bad times hallucinations that would make the berries he and the more human Henry shared run home crying.]}

_{[It's so weird to hear that shouted in his own voice.]}

Yes you--we do! He's our best friend!

Heather.

The damn thing said her name.

Baring her teeth, she twists in the giant fingers holding her, trying to sink her teeth into them but not really getting anywhere. The disconcerting chorus of two Henry voices arguing is enough to make her brain overheat, and she doesn't bother with the niceties.

The first words out of her mouth come in a horrible ratcheting scream.

"I'LL BURROW INTO YOUR CHEST LIKE A FUCKING REVERSE-XENOMORPH AND FEAST ON YOUR STILL-BEATING HEART, YOU GIANT PIECE OF OVERCOOKED SPINACH LINGUINI!!"

Edited 2015-06-24 01:41 (UTC)

You might not know me, but I know you. There's some weird multiple worlds shit going on right now.

[But Envy's just becoming increasingly sure that calm talk and reasoning aren't going to do a thing here. And the insult from Heather just gets him to let out a huff.]

Oh, yeah? Big talk coming from an oversized featherduster.

Fine, if you're not going to calm down, I'm not going to put you down.

[At his size and speed, it's not much longer before they're coming up on the house. He calls out as they approach, loudly enough that there's no way he won't be heard by anyone in there.]

HEY! Greed, Lust? You guys home? Heather?

[HONESTLY HE'S HOPING FOR GREED OR LUST. They've got the powers to make monster wrangling a bit easier.]

_{[Henry quickly hops down. But wow, that insult the bird girl spit out. That sure is Heather. He opens the door so that Envy's roars for help could be heard.]}

Heather? GOOD Heather?

_{[3...2....BA-POOMPF! The fungi poking out of the distressed tree man fruited and spread open dozens of pale parasols, sprinking the dragon and any nearby birds with spores. Weird times ahead, yall.]}

_{[Good Heather is seemingly not around-- at least not right now, anyway. There is nothing to stop her weird feathery doppelganger from continuing to throw a giant tantrum in the dragon's grip.]

[Shrieking and flapping and gnawing on Envy's giant dragonfingers continues.... until the spray of spores just kind of.]

[Erupts all over everything.]

[HarpyHeather lets out a squawk before going silent, her squirming swapped out for a weird shiver as the dusty substance settles over her body.]

[????]

[??????????????????????]}

[Envy did not expect the spores, shaking his head and sneezing in surprise as they settle all over his face. But he doesn't avoid breathing them in; after all, they shouldn't have any effect on a homunculus. Right?]

[He notices angry bird Heather go quiet and stop chewing on him, and thinks that maybe this was more helpful than anything.]

[Except...]

Henry. [His vision swims and he starts to sway.] I'm feeling weird...hold the door open.

_{[Henry pulls his attention from actually looking inside the house for any other craziness and turns to find a very wobbly dragon. He shoves the door open and dives out of the way.]}

Envy! What's wrong?

_{[....Eugh! Why are his eyes so itchy suddenly?]}

_{[Meanwhile, Hentree is lucky enough to be (mostly) immune to his own spores. He starts struggling in Envy's grip again.]}

_{[The harpy's vision is swimming.]

[She'd done pot a number of times back before her life was turned upside-down, and this is... similar.]

[But not.]

[A dribble of saliva runs out of her mouth-- her jaw's gone slack. Vaguely aware that she should keep struggling, she starts to wiggle erratically.]}

I don't know, I think it was the...the plant stuff.

[Slowly, he leeeans down and just. Sticks the arm holding Harpy Heather through the front door, trying to maneuver it so that he can just put her down in the kitchen. He can't see exactly where he does put her down, and in his state he doesn't think to look through the window.]

[Next is Hentree, inside you go you terrible monster children. While he's dumping Hentree in the house, he twists his neck so that he's facing Henry. The pupils in his big purple eyes are HUGE.]

Henry. Henry I think I want to lie down.

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