64th Transformation [FOURTH WALL]

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy's having a little bit of an issue this weekend.]

[Not swarming Pokemon or even teleportation, oh no. Those, he's gotten fairly good at handling. It's weird that these weekends are something anybody could get used to, but he just about has.]

[No, this time the problem is musical. There's a haunting song playing instead of the background music wherever Envy finds himself. It's scratchy and clearly sounds like it's coming out of an old phonograph, and he KNOWS that if he looks hard enough he'll probably find the damn thing somewhere. He knows he will because he DOES keep finding it, smashing it, and getting an hour or two of quiet before it COMES BACK.]

[Honestly, any reminders of his old master aside, he's spent four centuries listening to this waily goddamn song and he's just sick of it. So during the weekend, if anybody comes across him while the song is going, they'll find him pulling up bushes with his bare hands to look behind them and kicking around any spot where a phonograph could be hiding, trying to get it. And Envy will absolutely recruit passersby to help him out.]

[If the song isn't playing at the moment and providing a distraction, he'll be wandering around anywhere, still in the oddly subdued mood he's been in the past few weeks.]

Comments

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy WISHES he didn't have that record playing out in the street. Too bad he hasn't found one of those wish slips to send it away with.]

[Envy freezes too when he sees Ed come around the corner. He's not nearly as shocked; Ed has been here a lot of times before and it IS one of these weekends. But it is a surprise, and Envy's face twists from startled into a sneer as his whole posture tenses up. His hands curl into tight fists. He doesn't throw a punch quite YET, but he's clearly wound up enough to do so at the slightest of even imagined provocations.]

[The overload of feelings that comes with grief can take more than one form with Envy, and anger has always been the easiest channel for them.]

So, you're back here again, and all alone. Find your brother yet, or did you lose him already?

[Al might be Complicated right now, but Ed sure isn't.]

[bookslap]

{Now that's a familiar voice - and when Nanao spots Envy, her face lights up like it's Christmas.}

Envy! And of course I do.

[exeggutorhead]

[Any smartass remark Envy was going to make is abruptly derailed by three things:

1. Military uniform.

2. Talking about East City.

3. Envy has never seen this man before in his life.]

East City's a long way from here.

[COULD IT BE]

[THE MYTHICAL MR. NOTINVOLVED]

...but I know the way, I could help you out if you'd answer some things for me first.

[Winning, friendly smile. Envy knows he already looks like a punk teen in a miniskort, he doesn't want to scare the human away right off the bat.]

[exeggutorhead]

[Envy takes the opportunity to try pushing the roots further away from him and scooting so that he can stand up. The wounds are mostly healed up by now, although the blood doesn't disappear from Henry's claws or the ground.]

[He's tempted to leave Tree Henry here in the street; he's still really annoyed and this clearly isn't his friend. But...he looks enough like him (y'know, for a tree), and he's clearly freaking out...and what if it IS his Henry, but something's happened to him?]

[SIGH. But if he gets attacked again, this time he'll be ready. Maybe if he just talks calmly and firmly, that'll work.]

Okay, yeah, I come back to life. And I can do that as many times as you kill me. So you might as well not.

I'll give you that ONE time, got it? No retaliation. And if you come with me, I can tell you about what's going on.

Understand?

[After a moment's consideration, he extends a hand. It's mainly a symbolic gesture, he doesn't really expect Hentree to take it.]

[exeggutorhead]

[THERE IS THAT. Envy looks a little less grouchy when Haro does quit singing, and crosses his arms, standing casually and shrugging.]

The singer? Nah. But the person I used to live with played it nonstop for years, and I'm sick of it.

I'm trying to find the phonograph so I can break it, but it could be anywhere around here. I could use some help, if you're interested.

[exeggutorhead]

[THAT LIGHTING UP LOOKS PROMISING. He hadn't gotten that close to Nanao when she'd come back without her memories. He gets a sort of hopeful look on his face and starts actually walking towards her now.]

You, uh...wouldn't happen to remember what was going on last time I saw you, would you?

[exeggutorhead]

Ha! As if I could forget that. Do you know, that happened again a few years later?

[He starts heading towards her. It's funny, how even though he hasn't seen her in such a long time, the conversation comes just as easy as it used to. The real difference is him; he walks taller now, the grin is a genuine one instead of just a carefully maintained persona. There's a shadow of sadness and loss behind his eyes, but he's clearly happy to see the very first real friend he made.]

[bravehoratio]

I'd appreciate that, sir!

[...Also you are really badly dressed, also very decidedly a teenager, and you probably don't warrant that "sir" at all but it doesn't hurt anyone anything to be mannerly.

His mother raised him that way, don't you know. Good, polite, and honest.]

Though I don't know that I'll be much help, being a little mixed-up myself! But if there's some way I can, I surely will.

[exeggutorhead]

Ah, it's nothing to do with the area, don't worry about that.

But you wouldn't happen to know someone named Edward Elric would you?

[Because Envy hadn't known who the fuck Russell Tringham was either but he'd still known the Elrics.]

[bookslap]

....I'm fairly sure that I was getting thrown around like a ragdoll by the god of this place.

{w h o o p s}

[oldestfriend]

Whaaaat? No way. I thought they only did repeats on, like, late night TV.

[Once he's close enough, Dee smiles and lets her arm sling over his shoulders just as casually as if they've been around each other for months now, instead of her having disappeared some years ago. Well. 'Dee' did, anyway.]

[She's always around one way or another.]

You look good.

[captainash]

Sure, I can do tha- Wait, are you saying there's an actual, physical object playing that music? It's not just the usual background sound effects?

[This is quite possibly the strangest thing he's heard or seen today.]

[bravehoratio]

[His brow furrows slightly, as concerted thought is poured into racking his brain for any connection with the name.]

I'm afraid I can't say as I do, sir. I did know an Edmund Miller, once, but that was years ago as a lad; I believe he married a young woman named Tillie, who came into the inheritance of a respectable little sheep farm somewhere.

1/2

[reluctantreceiver]

_{[Henry's knothole eyes widened in terror as Envy rebuilt himself from the core outward. No! No no no! This couldn't be happening! ROTAN! ROTAN SCUM! When the hand was offered, the nymph recoiled and let out a screech.]}

What ARE you!

2/2

[no_ufo_ending]

...Uh?

_{[Drawn by the sounds of his friend in danger, Henry had abandoned trying to get a really good photo of a very real actual car from Cars. With his camera at the ready, he's frozen on the corner, staring at his bloodied friend and...a really familiar looking tree.]}

[exeggutorhead]

I'm--

[Envy looks over when he hears Henry's?? voice, confused. So...there are two Henrys?]

[what]

[At least HIS Henry hasn't been turned into some kind of plant chimera. Envy would be more confused if he didn't come from a world with multiple versions of people, but uh still this is weird. He backs up a few more steps from Hentree, getting a little between the two of them, and calls without taking his eyes off the tree version.]

Henry, do you know anything about turning into a plant?

[FROM WHAT HE'S HEARD OF SILENT HILL, IT'S A VALID QUESTION. IS THIS NORMAL??]

[edingly]

[When has Ed ever been Complicated for Envy, really?]

How about you go fuck yourself, Envy? I don't have the time to deal with you.

[Edward knows well enough of Envy's current situation, the changes and the uneasy truce between the eldest and youngest Elric. But he never really bought that Envy could change enough to be worth dealing with. Granted, he has a much more...personal reason than even Al does to loathe Envy with every fiber of his being, but it's kind of justified. Hard not to hate the guy that killed you just because of who your father was.]

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[He gapes for a moment not unlike a Magikarp before snapping back to reality.]}

I know that I'm not one for once!

[reluctantreceiver]

<sub>[The towering Hentree just balked at the other Henry. It was like seeing a ghost, but there he was! The way he was supposed to be. His face with real skin and eyes! His feet that could fit into shoes! Was this some trick of the Fourth God? Was this the strange case of the Two Walters he'd seen back on his original adventure?]

[Whatever it was, Hentree didn't like it. So he spread his thorny jaws in a scream and lunged at his human double.]</sub>

[exeggutorhead]

[...]

[This man doesn't know Edward Elric. In fact, he might be the most average, ordinary non-Johto-native person Envy's seen in some time.]

[...YES. FINALLY. ENVY'S FOUND HIM. He lets out a triumphant crow of a laugh, and grins at the man widely.]

That's great, that's great! That's all I needed to know. Sure I'll show you East City, no trouble.

[Is there any way to get to East City from here? Nope. Does Envy give a single shit about lying about it? Nope.]

[exeggutorhead]

[Killing Envy? He can let that go, it's not too big a deal. Yeah it hurts and it's annoying, but ultimately he's died plenty of times and in worse ways before.]

[Attacking one of Envy's friends though? His human friend who doesn't regenerate, no less?]

[NOPE, NOT HAPPENING.]

[Envy darts forward to straight up TACKLE Hentree as hard as he can, hoping to knock him to the ground and hold him there if he can manage it.]

HEY!

[reluctantreceiver]

_{[The nymph lets out a roar of surprised when he's rammed into and goes down like a...well you know what he goes down like.]}

[no_ufo_ending]

_{[Henry had already bolted, still having some of his horror protag instincts in tact. When the monster fell with Envy attacking him, he wheeled around.]}

DO THE DRAGON THING!

[exeggutorhead]

[You know what? The dragon thing sounds like a GREAT idea right now.]

[Envy transforms, his body going from a tiny human one to the giant, scaled loops of the serpentine dragon he'd showed Henry once before.]

[Except this time, he gives himself a pair of dragon arms too. He coils in a circle around Hentree to box him in, and aims to pin him to the ground with one clawed hand.]

Stay down, I'm done being nice.

[reluctantreceiver]

<sub>[Henry is ready to get up, he's ready for a second round. He makes another savage noise and twists his body around in an unnatural way to slash at Envy, but suddenly the pasty, long-haired man is gone and in his place is an enormous green noodle of death. He is slammed against the ground.]

[He writhes and scratches at the dragon's claws but there's not a lot a stick can do to a very real literal dragon. This is the worst day.]</sub>